Here’s the video.  If you blink you might miss him.  So watch this video while blinking heavily.  In fact, just close your eyes and plug your ears while it plays.

Today Eitan shot a scene for the indie project Blake Robbins is Not Famous in which he plays a random guy getting out of the bathroom who knew actor Blake Robbins personally but had no idea Blake was an actor.

What the heck is Blake Robbins is Not Famous?  It’s an internet project where actor Blake Robbins goes around with his friend Subash detailing what it’s like to be a not-quite-famous actor.  Part of the process involves interviewing random people on the street who either know or do not know Blake.  Eitan knew Blake by some random twist of their wives being in book club together but had no idea Blake was an actor.  the story had something to do with him giving a ride to his wife to book club at Eitan’s place and them meeting for a few seconds.  Even Blake was confused.

Eitan also called his own wife “fat.”   Good going there champ.

You knew Eitan thought he could write.  But you didn’t know other people agreed.

Eitan has begun conducting interviews for the website ActorsLife.com.

His first interview features casting director Bonnie Gillespie.

Others are sure to follow.  The internet will never be the same.

Uch, does Eitan know how much work it is for his biographer to log onto this blog and post about every single booking? There are many other things for a busy biographer to be doing. Did you know that it’s prime fishing season in Nova Scotia? That’d be much more interesting than writing about Eitan’s career.

Oh, the news.

Eitan’s booked an episode of the Nickelodeon show iCarly. He’ll be playing a father (Eitan’s so old, ha!) of a boy who decides it’d be a great idea to dump a bucket of ice water on him while he is sleeping and video tape it for Carly’s show. Maybe if we’re lucky they’ll dump a bucket of Gak on Eitan’s head too. You know, just for fun.

The episode number is #125 and the title is “iHave a Lovesick Teacher.” That’s so all you iCarly fanatics can plan your life around Eitan’s TV schedule.

It was the best of auditions, it was the worst of auditions. Sorry, couldn’t resist. I actually hate overdone titles like “To act or not to act” but this one just rang true to the post. So enjoy.

I want to discuss two auditions I had in the last couple weeks and how different they were. I think a lot can be learned from these two about nerves as an actor, what they can do to you and a few potential pitfalls to watch out for when you do get a “big” audition.

The first audition was for a film. I’m not going to mention the name of the film as I didn’t get it and I don’t like to talk too much about stuff I didn’t get but it was a pretty large film with an A-List cast. The scene I was reading for was with a pretty well known actor and a major A-lister. It was two straight pages of talking with one of the actors. Amazing, right? I got the call from my manager on a Thursday and the audition was the next Tuesday. I had five days to prepare and five days to freak out.

This wasn’t a “career maker” audition like a pilot or a major role in a film but it would have looked really great on my resume and demo reel. So there I was with a few pages of sides and a bunch of days to work on them. I went online did plenty of research to find out who each character was going to be played by, looked up the director, looked up the writers, read the IMDb board on the film and, of course, read over my lines dozens of times and made some good strong choices of what I wanted to do. I show up at the audition and have to wait an hour to go in and read. Finally I go in and give a pretty good read. Not the best of my life, but I was really pleased with what I did.

I’m so happy I did well because that audition easily could have gone the other way. I could have started to think about how the director works ALL the time and could make my career on his next film, how I’d format my resume with the new credit or how I could easily screw up in front of one of the top casting directors in Los Angeles and never get brought in by her again. Those kind of things can consume an actor and do nothing to help with the actual audition. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think of all of those things but I focused my energy on the work. That’s what stopped me from freaking out. When I started to think of how amazing this job would be and how much money I’d make on residuals when the thing runs on TBS every two hours I picked up the script and worked on it again.

And in that waiting room I could have started to worry about what the other actors were going to do. I could have looked at them and judged their wardrobes and demeanors to figure out who my real competition was. But instead I stretched out on the sofa, relaxed and read my lines a few more time. This took my mind off of the hour wait and onto the work.

When you have days to analyze and think about your audition the best thing to do is to focus as much as possible on the work. What good are five days if you only spend an hour on the sides and twenty hours fantasizing about what could happen? Switch those two around (maybe not 20 hours on the scene, that’s insane) and you’ll calm yourself down to no end.  Because you’ll know what you have to do when you walk in that room.

The second audition I want to discuss is my audition for Ghost Whisperer. I get the call Tuesday at 2PM for an audition at 4:30PM in Burbank. That means I have to finish what I was doing, do a little shopping for dinner, get in my car and go. That was it. I barely had time to print out the sides. I read them over quickly on my way out the door.

I drive to the studio, park my car, get lost and eventually find the casting office after asking directions at a production office as well as the casting office for Heroes. I get in there and there’s one guy in front of me. He’s in the room for two minutes and suddenly I’m in there auditioning.

There was no room for nerves. In fact, the excitement of the whole thing didn’t sink in until the morning I shot. I woke up and said, “Hey, I get to shoot a scene with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Orlando Jones today… neat!”

The best way to keep nerves from messing you up is to keep busy and keep focusing on the work. If you feel like you’ve worked the scene to death, go out and watch a movie. Have a cup of coffee with an old friend. Do something other than ponder over and over what would happen if you got this part or messed up. Enjoy the opportunity, get excited about the fact that you get to have this audition and make sure you’re ready to step in there and give a good performance.

Hey hey, look who’s working. It’s Eitan proving yet again that if he can get work as an actor in Hollywood, anyone can.

This time Eitan will be appearing on the CBS show “Ghost Whisperer” playing an annoying fan (shocking) of a celebrity psychic in episode 307 “Unhappy Medium.” Eitan will be shooting at Universal Studios on Monday. If you happen to be on the tour, keep a look out for Eitan. And what’s this with Eitan and psychics? Weird, right?

The biographer has long guessed Eitan would end up at Universal Studios but it was assumed he would be on the lot as a tour guide or responsible for spraying down Jaws, not as an actor. The biographer hates being wrong but loves it when Eitan works.

And since you’re wondering, yes Eitan will be shooting his scene with Jennifer Love Hewitt. And no, Eitan will not work up the courage to introduce himself.

Congratulations! You just got a nice part in some TV show. Or you got a great new commercial that’s going to be running all over the place. Or maybe you’re even about to be in a new play that everyone in your town should come and see. Great! Right now your headshot and resume are of no help, you need to get out and promote! So how do you go about talking about your work without sounding like a tool?

Recently I’ve found myself in an amazing showcase, a short film that’s tearing it up on the festival circuit and a bunch of commercials that are playing all over the country. After the performance part of the showcase all the actors schmooze with the industry guests over drinks and food. I hated talking about my work. I really hated it. I figured I could simply smile and be a nice guy and people would figure out who I am and be impressed. Well that doesn’t work. To get recognition for your work (and not just in acting) you MUST self-promote. Today I’m going to discuss one way to do this which won’t make you uncomfortable.

Self-Promote by talking about other people’s work. (more…)

Everyone actor wants to know if they’re any good. And unless you’ve got an Oscar on your shelf there’s never any conclusive proof you’re a good actor. Over the years I’ve figured out a few flags that indicate if you’re a bad actor and really should be looking for another job.

• No-Repeat Customers - Sometimes you get lucky and book a part. You might be right for something once. But if the people who audition/work with you figure out you stink they’re not likely to bring you in again. If one job never seems to lead to another, you might want to think about why.
• No Redirection - Sometimes you’re just not right for a part. So you go in, audition, get the old “thank you” and are shown the door. But if this is happening to you time after time, maybe the auditioners just don’t see much of a reason to re-direct you. Because no matter how much work they put in, you’ll never be able to pull the part off.
• Career Going Nowhere - This one often happens because of bad business sense. If you never learn how to promote your own work and never learn how to market yourself you’ll probably never go anywhere with your career. This is just as bad for your career as being a bad actor but at least you can learn to promote yourself well. Acting can’t really be learned (don’t worry, there will be future posts on self-promotion as well as my whole “acting can’t be learned” thing). But if you’re been promoting yourself and find that you just can’t get that SAG card, can’t get that first commercial and can’t attract any sort of representation, maybe it’s because you’re just not that good. Unfortunately there’s no good time frame to give yourself to accomplish these goals. Some people take years to get their SAG card, but go on to have real careers. But you have to give your career an honest look and see if it’s moved forward in the last year. If it hasn’t at least moved towards these goals, maybe it’s not just bad luck.
• “You were in a play!” - Yes, that’s a line from Friends. It’s what the crew tells Joey after his play (which was awful). If you never seem to be in a quality project, maybe it’s because the only people who think you’re good have no idea what they’re doing. Everyone’s allowed to do some bad projects. But if that’s all you seem to do, it might be because the people who do good work know better.

You’ll notice almost everything on this list is subjective. What constitutes a “bad play” or “no progress?” It’s going to be truly impossible to know if you’re any good. Sometimes people work for years before these symptoms start to rear their heads. And it’s tough to walk away from a career, especially if it’s something you feel you “need to do.” But it’s easier to leave now than 10 years from now when you’ve still made no progress/money at it. So it may be worth a thought.

There’s no shame in not being good enough to be a professional actor. I feel only a minor twinge that I’m not athletic enough to be a professional baseball player. I have no bad feelings about not being musical enough to be a rock star. There’s a long list of cool jobs that I’ll never have. But this isn’t a problem, because I’m doing something I know I’m good at which is ultimately more satisfying.

Fine, Eitan finally did it. He finally impressed his biographer just a little bit. A very little bit. Eitan has just shot another commercial. This time for Saturn cars. Eitan’s done commercials before, why should his biographer be impressed this time? Because this commercial was directed by Jake Scott. Who’s that you ask? Maybe you’ve heard of his father Ridley or his uncle Tony. Word on the street is that Jake’s supposed to start blowing up soon, just like Eitan. Ha! Just kidding. Eitan sucks.

Look for Eitan in front of the giant 25 foot tall inflatable gorilla overcompensating for not being a Saturn dealer. He waves good morning to the Saturn dealer as he drives by on the way to work. Think about how amazing actor Eitan must be to pretend to overcompensate. He’d never overcompensate for a shortcoming. Eitan, for example, would never have a 30 page long biography that he writes in third person to make himself seem more important than he really is. Never.

Oh boy, actual news.  Eitan has beat the odds once again and for about 8 hours on a Thursday was employed!  This time Eitan shot a national Cingular commercial.  In it Eitan plays a young man using his computer in a coffee shop.  Close your eyes very tight and try to imagine Eitan using a computer, it’s hard.  Look for him when the camera flies over the shoulder of a newscaster and into the cafe.   The name of the commercial is “Seamless.”  It’s quite high tech.

During shooting a robotic camera moved in from the street into the cafe at a good clip.  Take after take it flew at Eitan’s head.  The biographer regrets to inform the readers of this website that it missed his head every single time.  It did almost shatter a glass door and lacerate Eitan’s face a couple times, but almost doesn’t count.

If you haven’t noticed by now Eitan’s Las Vegas commercial hasn’t aired.  It is available to view on this website but apparently that’s it.  Eitan cried like a girl when he realized his spot wouldn’t be running.  Like a little girl.  Unless you hear otherwise assume it’s been shelved and won’t be coming to your TV.  It happens to the best actors (and apparently to Eitan too).