See?  He’s going to do weekly commentary on President Barak Obama’s addresses to the nation as this absurd character.  Apparently he’s planning some really ridiculous stuff as the series goes on.  Seriously, hire this man.

Eitan will be performing in (and coordinating, if anyone knows what that means) the show at the Colony Theater in Burbank, CA.

RSVP now, if you want to actually sit through some “hilarious scenes,” eat free food and get free drinks. RSVP and get more information through the website: cricketfeetshowcase.com

All attendees are guaranteed to see Eitan prance around the stage and look silly.

Some people don’t respect acting as a career choice.  They think it’s all a crap shoot and you really have no control over your destiny.  I’d argue every career involves luck and various other aspects you can’t control.  But the thing about acting is the infrequency and random timing with which things happen.

Tomorrow morning I’ll wake up and I’ll hope I get a call for an audition where if I’m incredibly lucky I’ll be able to get a callback for the chance of a job.  If I just get an audition, I’m a happy man.  That means if tomorrow I get rejected for a part, I’m happy.

Something must be wrong with me.

But, careers do typically move forward.  People do get bigger and better parts.  People do make their living doing this.  But along the way there’s much rejection, heartbreak and stunning silence on days you’re sure your phone should be ringing off the hook.  Even worse, some peoples’ careers just don’t go anywhere.  There are actors who spend half a decade and never get their SAG cards, an agent or a decent break.  There are people who have careers move forward quickly and then stall.  There are people who think they’ve “made it” and then a few months later can’t get a single meeting.

But there are the people who stick with it, keep plugging away and manage to constantly be taking steps forward and put together a decent career.

Do you know how difficult it is to face the very real possibility that you could invest years of your life and have nothing to show for it?

Being an actor takes courage.  And I’m not even talking about the courage to get up in front of two, five or ten million people and perform.  For most of us that’s the fun part.  It’s truly hard to know that today could be the highlight of my acting career.  It could never get better.

So what kind of person does this every day?  One with real determination and a drive to succeed.

I meet plenty of actors who say they’re giving acting “a shot.”  I meet many more who half-heatedly do a play once every few months.  And that’s fine, acting can make a good hobby.  But those of us who plug away every day truly have some guts and that has to be respected.  To really succeed you have to be in this for the very long haul, you have to be consistent and you have to be dedicated.

I know I am.  But I meet very few other actors who are the same way.  But the ones I do know tend to have the most success.

http://www.twitter.com/eitantheactor.com

I’ll take 10 points for originiality.

And submit yourself if you’d like to participate.  Feel free to forward this on to any of your actor friends who might be interested.

Submissions are also being accepted from writers who’d like to have their material done at the showcase.  There is no pay but it’s a great way to get your short scenes seen by people in the industry and see them performed on stage by wonderful, expertly directed actors.  It’s quite a thrill.  Go here for more information on submitting writing to us (warning PDF):

http://cricketfeetshowcase.com/cricketfeetshowcasewriters.pdf

And for more info about the showcase in general go to: http://cricketfeetshowcase.com

Eitan’s episode is titled “iHave a Lovesick Teacher” and Eitan plays a dad who gets ping pong balls dropped on his head by his son as part of an attempt to get onto iCarly’s show.  The episode will air as part of a very special iCarly new episode double header.

12 year olds of the world, rejoyce.

Eitan has parted ways with Steve Buchsbaum of Ad Astra management.  He will soon start searching for new representation.  If you really want to hire Eitan for anything other than a commercial call him directly.  But seriously, who wants to hire Eitan?  Eitan is still represented by Origin Talent for commercials.

And if Variety wants to pick up the story:  Eitan Ankles Ad Astra will be a very fitting headline.  It’s got both visual and phonetic alliteration.  That’s why Eitan’s biographer gets paid the big bucks.

If you’re into number type stuff you can see my results online.

Some of the stuff I’m going to talk about is risky, some of the stuff is safe as a Volvo. It’s all about your comfort level and how honest the lie actually is.  Mostly these are white lies that actors are expected to tell.  But they can get pushed too far if you’re trying to be sneaky.  The biggest rule I can say is don’t get caught lying.  Even if it’s minor.  You don’t want to have to start justifying your whole resume to a casting director in the middle of an audition.

Lying On Your Resume Can be a Good Idea - In a perfect world everyone’s acting resume would be a list of parts they’ve played and casting people could easily look at the resume and see where the actor is in their career and if they could possibly be a good fit for the part they are currently casting. Problem is, it’s just not possible. No one’s going to recognize every item on an actor’s resume. Credits don’t always mean the same thing in different contracts. School plays can be really hard to sell as “legitimate experience.” And the list goes on and on.

The First Lie Every Actor is Told To Tell - Let’s get this one out of the way. I’ve read this in books and on other websites so this is the least risky thing in the post. If you did a play at Xavier High School and you played the part of the Fiddler in The Fiddler on the Roof you don’t need to list the production company as “Xavier High School,” you can list it as “Xavier Theater.” Or if the theater has a name you can list it. “The Herbert Einstein Memorial Theater.”  Whatever.  Because no one really cares.  It’s a play in a theater they’ve never heard of.  They’ll ask about the play (if at all) and that’ll be that.

Don’t Upgrade Yourself -  I’ve seen a fair number of actor resumes in my life.  I can’t even calculate the percentage of which have obvious attempts at upgrades but it’s a high number.  Suddenly that guy with one line has a “Major Supporting Role” in the film.  Or the guy who passed by the star in the hallway is a “Guest Star.”  Well guess what, the bigger the lie the more likely someone’s going to catch you.  Saying you had a Guest Star part on a very successful show when you had a one liner is typically pretty obvious.  I’ve seen resumes listing multiple large parts and when you type the name into IMDB maybe one of the parts comes up… as “Waiter #3.”  That’s no “Starring” role.  And do you know who’s going to catch you every single time if you list that extra work as principle?  The casting director.  They remember people they hire.  And they’ll never be hiring you.  And if you say you were a guest star someone just might try to check your quote, they’ll find out you were lying and you’ll get fired before you were even hired.  That’d suck.

Move Laterally -  Look at my resume and you’ll see the Final Justice part listed as a “Co-Star.”  My contract doesn’t say “Co-Star.”  In fact, I have no idea where my contract is so I can’t read the actually billing.  But I was hired as a “Principle” and that’s the only billing I had.  Problem was, it just stood out on my resume as a weird thing next to my other two actual “co-star” roles (as of this writing, just for the record).  So I moved myself laterally.  I changed it to “Co-Star.”  It’s not really a lie, it’s equivalent.  If I were hired on any other AFTRA show I’d be billed as a “Co-Star” with that part.  I just didn’t know to ask for that when I was starting out.  Also, they never ran credits on that show.  Uch.  How do you know what your billing is supposed to be?  Read your contract.  The other great time to move laterally is on a feature when you’re booked as a “Featured” part.  Technically this means you got paid a day rate and had a line or two.  In resume world, this means you were an extra who thinks they could pick themselves out of a crowd.  “Featured” is a term that is dead and gone on resumes.  It’s been ruined.  You’re now a “Principle” or “Featured Principle.”  That means you had a line otherwise people think you’re making stuff up.  Isn’t that ironic?

A Real Serious Lie - Ok, this last one is beyond anything I’ve ever done.  I’ve said time and time again that no one really cares about films and plays they’ve never seen and never heard of.  They just see lines on your resume and assume you know something about being on camera or being on stage.  There’s nothing that’s going to excite them unless they recognize something from your resume.  That means you can completely make up student films, short films, original plays, acting classes and cast yourself in plays you’ve read and know well enough to pass a quiz on.  You can, but you shouldn’t.  This is where you really can play too much with your resume and head down a dark and dangerous path.  I did a few student films in college but how does someone know I didn’t do three more in which I was the lead?  Heck, I was in a few plays there that I know like the back of my hand.  Who’s to say I didn’t play the lead instead of the guy carrying suitcases?  No one would ever catch a single one of those lies and they’d pad my resume quite nicely.  Or at least they would have back when that was all I had on my resume.  But know I’ve seen directors ask about a random part, just to make conversation.  Just make sure you could make something up if need be.

Don’t Do That! - I hope you read this paragraph after reading the one before it.  Don’t do it.  Don’t completely make stuff up on your resume, even if you’ll never get caught.  It’s useless, no one cares about these projects.  Why be a liar for something unimportant?  BUT I’m totally down with making things look as good as possible on your resume.  Let’s say you did a staged reading for a class of an original play your friend wrote but never did anything with.  Why can’t that part be on your resume under theater?  You did the part, it just wasn’t a full show.  That short fillm that you shot with your buddies?  Put your friend as the director and put that on your resume.  You shot it, it’s a film.  No one judges an actor by how small the font size is on their resume.  A List actor resumes only have their latest, greatest and most famous roles listed anyway.  B and C list actors don’t even have their theater listed most of the time.  It’s only us working class stiffs.  If you only had one liners in student films no one’s going to be upset if you make one of those a lead.  The director might get annoyed but if he’s teaching 5th grade in Kansas now, how does that affect you?

Lie as Little as Possible - What we can take away from all my examples is that you should lie as little as humanly possible.  Don’t go for any lies that can be caught or pointed out easily (See that guy with an iPhone at your audition?  He’s checking your IMDB page and knows you’re lying).  Lies should be used only to very lightly massage your resume, never to try to bump it up to the next level.  Nothing I’ve suggested here will land you a single extra audition.  None will make any perceptible difference in your career.   They’re small and they just smooth the way towards getting some real credits that you don’t have to work to pretty up.