Hey guys, it’s Eitan here.
What?! You must be shocked. I never write on this bio/blog. Well, that’s changing today.
Today is the launch of a new part of EitanTheActor.com. My biographer will still be writing all “official” career updates about bookings and things but I’ll be posting (hopefully often) on various topics. I’ll explain in another post, for organizational sake. But rest assured you’ll be seeing a whole lot more updates on this site than you ever have in the past.
Round up the kids, de-ice the freezer and tie down the dog, it’s time for the second Cricket Feet Casting Actors Showcase.
What in Sam-Hill is this? Well, a showcase is where a bunch of actors put on a bunch of scenes for people in the entertainment industry (talent agents, managers, casting directors, etc). The Cricket Feet Showcase features about an hour of amazingly funny scenes, free booze/food/parking for industry guests and that’s it! The show takes place July 24th, 25th and 26th at the Promenade Playhouse on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, CA. For information/reservations/directions/dancing bunny photos visit the link above. If you’re not in the “biz” and you want to go there’s a special preview performance July 16th at 7:30PM. To get into that one go to the link above and don’t use the RSVP form on the website but follow the directions for alternate registration.
This sounds like a dream come true. But wait, you ask yourself, what does Eitan have to do with all of this? What’s the catch? Well, as you might have guessed this isn’t random publicity for a showcase. The bad news: Eitan is not only producing the showcase with his good buddy Bonnie Gillespie but he’s acting in it as well (he’s like M. Night Shyamalan, won’t get cast in something unless he casts himself). So in addition to an hour of hilarious comedy there will also be one scene featuring Eitan. Feel free to take a nap during that one. Or get up and go to the bathroom. Or even vomit quietly in your seat. No one will judge you.
But you should still go, even if you have to watch Eitan act. That’s how good the showcase is going to be. At the last one various industry guests remarked, “This is the best showcase I’ve ever been to” and a few industry guests were having so much fun shmoozing/drinking the free booze they had to be asked to leave so the crew could shut down the theater at around midnight. All this in spite of Eitan. Amazing, no?
No, you’re not dreaming. Everything on Eitantheactor.com has been re-done. But pinch yourself anyway for wasting your time reading about Eitan.
The Biography page is now running on WordPress, the photo gallery is an actual gallery, there’s a whole new color scheme and other things are different all over the place. People around the world are wondering, “Why?” And the answer is… there is no good reason. Eitan’s mean like that. He calls up his staff at 3:30AM on a Thursday reeking of tequila (the Eitantheactor.com offices are equipped with “Smell-o-Phones”) and demands his whole website be updated over the weekend. He claims his website looks like it was designed in 1996 which in the internet world is one of the worst imaginable insults.
So off the staff went to update every page and make everything as modern as streamlined as possible. The final result, something that looks like it was designed in 2004. Ta da!
Eitan has people. It’s weird because he’s… Eitan. But he does have people. Today he inked (that’s pretentious “industry speak” for “signed”) with Steven Buchsbaum of Ad Astra Management. That doubles the number of people Eitan has to: 2.
Steve will be working with Eitan on expanding his work from the commercial to the theatrical (more of that snobbish Hollywood speak for “TV and film work”) while helping Eitan keep his current commercial career alive. This can only mean one thing, more work for Eitan’s biographer. Horray.
Also, Eitan is hard at work (*snicker*) at producing the second Cricket Feet Casting Actors Showcase. This one will take place July 24th, 25th and 26th at the Promenade Playhouse in Santa Monica. Apparently not enough people had to suffer through Eitan’s “hilarious” performance. Industry guests humored the producers and told them things like, “This is the best showcase I’ve ever seen.” How sweet of them to spare Eitan’s feelings. You’ll find none of that on this biography.
Eitan’s just showing off. Three commercials at the same time? Seriously? Uch! How unbecoming.
Not only can you see Eitan in his commercials for Las Vegas and Cingular but now he’s going to be seen all over the country in his commercial for Saturn that started airing last night during Lost.
Eitan appears at the end of the commercial giving a “I’m not nearly as good as you” wave to the Saturn dealer. At least they cast Eitan well in this one. Listen for the “manamana” song playing.
Also, Eitan has expanded his ineptitude. If it wasn’t enough that he was an actor (and a writer/director, if you count his short film which the biographer doesn’t) Eitan is now a producer. Together with casting director Bonnie Gillespie, Eitan is producing the Cricket Feet Casting Actors Showcase. It will be performed at the Promenade Playhouse in Santa Monica on April 23rd,24th and April 26th at 8PM. More info can be found on that website. Eitan will, of course, performing in it. So expectations should be tempered.
The short film Eitan performed in “Alive and Well” has been accepted into over a dozen film festivals. Chris Peckover, the director, won “Best Director” at an Australian festival. Eitan’s IMDb Star Ranking skyrocketed from 334,733 to 237,193. There are over 100,000 dead people more famous than Eitan.
Fine, Eitan finally did it. He finally impressed his biographer just a little bit. A very little bit. Eitan has just shot another commercial. This time for Saturn cars. Eitan’s done commercials before, why should his biographer be impressed this time? Because this commercial was directed by Jake Scott. Who’s that you ask? Maybe you’ve heard of his father Ridley or his uncle Tony. Word on the street is that Jake’s supposed to start blowing up soon, just like Eitan. Ha! Just kidding. Eitan sucks.
Look for Eitan in front of the giant 25 foot tall inflatable gorilla overcompensating for not being a Saturn dealer. He waves good morning to the Saturn dealer as he drives by on the way to work. Think about how amazing actor Eitan must be to pretend to overcompensate. He’d never overcompensate for a shortcoming. Eitan, for example, would never have a 30 page long biography that he writes in third person to make himself seem more important than he really is. Never.
There is no escape from Eitan. Turn on your TV and BOOM there he is. Right now he’s appearing in both his national Cingular commercial and finally you can see Eitan and the fortune teller in his “What Happens Here Stays Here” Las Vegas commercial. In Eitan’s Cingular commercial you can see him playing with the new Samsung Blackjack phone and being all nerdy at his computer.
Ignore the ealier statements about the Vegas commercial not appearing on TV. In fact, ignore any mistakes in this biography. They are only there to lead the non-believers astray.
Oh boy, actual news. Eitan has beat the odds once again and for about 8 hours on a Thursday was employed! This time Eitan shot a national Cingular commercial. In it Eitan plays a young man using his computer in a coffee shop. Close your eyes very tight and try to imagine Eitan using a computer, it’s hard. Look for him when the camera flies over the shoulder of a newscaster and into the cafe. The name of the commercial is “Seamless.” It’s quite high tech.
During shooting a robotic camera moved in from the street into the cafe at a good clip. Take after take it flew at Eitan’s head. The biographer regrets to inform the readers of this website that it missed his head every single time. It did almost shatter a glass door and lacerate Eitan’s face a couple times, but almost doesn’t count.
If you haven’t noticed by now Eitan’s Las Vegas commercial hasn’t aired. It is available to view on this website but apparently that’s it. Eitan cried like a girl when he realized his spot wouldn’t be running. Like a little girl. Unless you hear otherwise assume it’s been shelved and won’t be coming to your TV. It happens to the best actors (and apparently to Eitan too).
Eitan has just wrapped shooting the short film “Alive and Well” with Neil Flynn (he’s the Janitor on Scrubs and was also in Mean Girls, stuff Eitan would never be caught dead doing). Eitan played a nerdy know-it-all badminton player named Steve. It’s very difficult to imagine Eitan as a nerdy know-it-all, but somehow he managed to pull the part off admirably. The film takes place when a badminton team’s charter jet crashes into a California field. The crazed pilot wants to immediately start eating people to survive. Then the nerdy Steve saves the day. Or so Eitan would have us believe.
Eitan spent two days in a smoke filled airplane set in North Hollywood shooting this film. And no, he did not get any frequent flier miles for the shoot.